Me and My Friends and a Brand New Studying Schedule
by Zikari8
Summary: There is not much time left untill the battle with Class A. The difference in power is immense and class F does not have much of a chance. Now, our hero, Yoshii Akihisa, faces one of the greatest challenges in his life... Studying. No Specific Pairings... Rated T for Tsuchiya(Mutsurrini).
1. Chapter 1

Hello all Baka and Test Fans. You have had the misfortune of clicking the link to a story made by a undeserving author. I'm sorry...

Lately, I've been having writer's block so I created this story as my casual story that I can have fun with and don't mind messing it up. It has really helped awaken the inner writer within me but in the end remember that it is basically just a joke fic. It's probably worse than my already horrible stories... and that means a lot.

Anyways, here is my Joke Fanfic: Me and My Friends and a Brand New Studying Schedule.

* * *

**Where do you prefer to do your daily studying?**

**Himeji Mizuki's Answer:**

I seem to prefer to study in the local library. The quiet nature and numerous books give a very academic and luxurious atmosphere. There is a very comfortable chair in the right corner of the second floor in the library that I like to sit in. I also like studying in the comfort of my own home but it proves to be very distracting to do so. The library however can let you get lost in your own concentration while studying. It is a wonderful place.

**Teacher's Comments:**

That is great for you. The Library is a good place to gather and review knowledge and seems to be the most common answer among our students. I was quite surprised when I heard that even Himeji-san has trouble concentrating while studying at home. It's wonderful that you have a place where you can concentrate on your studies without distractions.

**Sakamoto Yuuji's Answer:**

I don't have a preference about where I study. I don't care about any distractions or any resources that each location may have as I can concentrate on studying anywhere.

**Teacher's Comments:**

This is great though a very uncommon answer. Don't worry though cause somebody else has a similar answer to you…

**Yoshii Akihisa's Answer:**

I don't have a preference about where I study. I don't care about any distraction or any resources that each location may have as I don't understand it either way.

**Teacher's Comments:**

Honestly… Sometimes I wonder whether you two are in cahoots.

* * *

"Hm… I wonder what went wrong…"

I looked down at the sheet of paper in my hands, scratching my chin. It was a slightly cloudy Autumn day and the change of seasons was making itself apparent. The temperature had dropped severely from last week and we still hadn't switched to our winter uniforms yet, thus leaving me shivering in the cold winds. The cold weather created a frigid atmosphere that discouraged studying and encouraged the using of the Kotatsu.

Of course, it was a school day that vaguely fits into a certain frame in time. School had just finished and during our last period, Endou-sensei handed back our last English tests.

"This is quite bad isn't it?"

And of course I got a big red 4 on mine.

How did this happen? I was completely prepared for this test. That's right. I studied a whole 5 minutes before saying goodnight to the world.

"Oi, Akihisa, how did you do on the test?"

"Huh? Yuuji? Ahaha… why would you want to know?"

Behind me, my best friend, Sakamoto Yuuji, approached. With his red hair like a lion's mane and his lax attitude, he seems like a pretty snarky guy but his immense amount of wisdom, physical strength, and cunning makes him an amazing person that you couldn't help but respect.

"Oi, you're hiding your test behind your back…"

"Oh really? Am I doing that? I assure you that nothing's wrong…"

As expected of Yuuji. He instantly spotted the instant that I hid my test paper behind my back. Truly one to be feared.

"Let me guess… you failed?"

Woah, right to the point! He isn't giving me a chance to counter-attack.

"You know, Yuuji… that was a pretty hard test and…"

"Wait stop… let me guess your score…"

Ah, another expected trait from my cool best friend. With his intelligence, he does seem like someone that likes challenges and maybe puzzles. Alright, let's play along and see how close he can get.

"Right… Akihisa, wanna wager a ramen and a ramune?"

A bet? Yuuji must be generous today. And a Ramen and a Ramune as well for something as oddly stacked as guessing a number? This is too easy.

"Alright, Yuuji. Deal."

Yup… there's no way he can guess my score. I have this in the bag. I can't believe Yuuji was so foolish enough to accept this deal. Fool! Ahahaha…

"You got a 4."

"Are you a mind reader!?"

There is no way this guy could've possibly managed to actually calculate my score through the little clues he was given. It has to be scientifically impossible.

"Sheesh, I actually was correct. Aren't you ashamed that you got that score?"

A thick arrow pierced my heart as the completely true statement was placed bluntly in front of me.

Yuuji shook his head and sighed, completely ignoring my heart being shattered into pieces. I desperately tried to cling onto the little pride I had left.

"Yeah but…"

"What do you think your parents would think if they find out low your grades are? How do you expect to explain this to your sister when you get home?"

Agggh… Two more arrows intersected and crashed into my body. I was taken down to a knee after taking the considerable damage.

What a fearsome attack of guilt… it is true that my parents would be disappointed in me if they knew my scores and surely Ane-san would punish me once I got home… This completely casual way of placing the cruel reality into one's face was truly powerful. Only someone at the legggh… Two more arrows intersected and crashed into my body. I was taken down to a knee after taking the considerable damage.

What a fearsome attack of guilt… it is true that my parents would be disappointed in me if they knew my scores and surely Ane-san would punish me once I got home… This completely casual way of placing the cruel reality into one's face was truly powerful. Only someone at the level of Yuuji could pull this off.

But no, I must not lose confidence. Once I do it will all be over. I must stand my ground and fight back with all I have…

That's right. This was the lifestyle that I had chosen for myself. There was no way that I can back down now!

"What you're saying is right however…"

I wiped the sweat off my forehead. Here it comes! My ultimate comeback! This is it!

"Honestly, Akihisa… this is why you can't get a girlfriend."

"AAAGGGGHHHHHH!"

A giant explosion set off in my very soul, destroying every fragment of my reality. I was sent flying into the air, a shockwave of pain, transmitting across my body.

The ultimate truth and the ultimate weapon. Such devastating strength… I admit my defeat…

"Anyways, how do you expect to defeat Class A at this rate?"

"Huh? Class A?"

I manage to get up from my defeat and wipe off the dust on my blazer.

Yuuji had his cool and serious face that only appeared during occasions that deserved it. He stared at me with a harsh, cold glare.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten why you decided to defeat class A on the very first day!?"

"What!?"

The once-known child prodigy glared at me with an intensity that seemed to blow me right off my feet.

On the very first day… that's right, I had promised myself and persuaded Yuuji to declare war on class A. I had been dissatisfied with the difference in our classes, thought it was unfair… and most of all…

"Yuuji… You're right!"

"Looks like you're finally serious Akihisa."

Yuuji finally smiled as he leant back on the classroom wall. I myself good feel like this was a wonderful turning point in my life… I would be serious now. We are going to defeat Class A!

"I'm gonna get serious now! Watch my score start sky-rocketing soon enough!"

"Now that you're serious it looks like I can't lose, Akihisa."

Me and Yuuji looked at each other and could only grin. With our mutual feelings, we fist-pumped, smiling the whole way. There was no doubt that there was a reason that this lethargic, annoying, crafty and manipulative guy was my best friend.

"You know that this isn't gonna be easy right?"

"Of course, I'm completely ready for this!"

I can't have any doubts. I know that for someone like me, a little studying won't do much… And we won't have much time until the battle with Class A starts… Within this timeframe I have to become strong enough to take down the looming giant known as the A class.

I clenched my fist just to show him how serious I was.

"That's good… to help you out I've already arranged special tutors to teach you…"

"Huh?"

What was this sudden revelation? Special Tutors?

With no understanding, I scratched my head thinking hard about it, causing Yuuji to put on a prideful face.

"I know that you won't be able to do much by yourself so I've called in a few favors and arranged a select few to teach you. It should help you a lot."

"Yuuji…"

The ex-delinquent put his hand on my shoulder and gave me an unimaginably warm smile.

"What are friends for after all? If this is the most I can do for you, than it shall be done."

"Yuuji you…"

I was on the verge of tears… To think that I was lucky enough to have this guy as a friend… a guy who would do so much for me…

"How can I possibly return this favor to you…"

"No need to returning any favors… As long as you study your hardest… That is enough for me."

I will… I will… I'll study if it's the last thing I do. No matter what…

Yuuji casually let go of my shoulder and slowly backed up.

"Don't fail me okay? Study every day and don't play any video games."

"Of course. I won't back down after you've done so much…"

"Even on the weekends don't do anything but study. No matter what…"

"Affirmative."

I saluted to show that I completely understood.

"You know what since you won't be playing them, why don't you give all your games to me so you don't get tempted to play them."

"Oh… Alright. You know best."

I nodded along, and Yuuji finally picked up his bag and headed down the hall.

"Oh and don't forget the Ramen and Ramune… Hope you the best of luck."

"Thanks… huh?"

Wait… what is this feeling of regret in my gut…

…

…

…

"I've been duped!"

* * *

If you have managed to read all the way to this little footnote than I congratulate you. I understand that the ending is pretty confusing so I'll just quickly tell you that at the end Akihisa realises that he was tricked into giving all his games to Yuuji. Anyways, If you like it than please review. If you hate it, please review. I need to go and regret my past sins now...


	2. Chapter 2: Linear Algebra

Hello, everyone. This is Zikari8 here with a chapter that was far longer than I imagined... I'm not gonna ever make a chapter that's this long again... this was preposterous. But anyways have fun reading, though nobody does actually read this stuff...

* * *

**At what time in the day do you usually study?**

**Himeji Mizuki's answer:**

I like to study in the mid-afternoon after I've had some time to replenish my energy from school. I find it the best time, especially when there's no one to distract me from studying.

**Teacher's comments:**

I think that's a good place to study... Unlike you, Sensei procrastinates and does all his work at night. You should get the work out of the way first afterall.

**Shimada Minami's answer:**

I prefer studying at night when all my daily activities are over and I can really concentrate on my work, without fail.

**Teacher's comments:**

It looks like we're the same... Sensei also work during the night. It really is a good time to do whatever we must right?

**Akihisa Yoshii's answer:**

Never.

**Teacher's comments:**

I already know this.

* * *

"Delicious! I have finally perfected and crafted… the ultimate ramen!"

Hi, this is Yoshii Akihisa here. As you can probably tell, I have just created a batch of ramen and, I tell you, it tastes good. Whenever I have ramen, I naturally tend to go with Shio ramen or some Spicy Ramen. But today, I've switched things up a little.

Ane-san had brought back some high-quality ingredients, though for some reason also bought a bunch of metal bats. Apparently, she had got them from a friend in Okinawa, someone she used to go to highschool with. It was a good story, and an even better batch of ingredients, that I was in tears by the end.

Among these ingredients were some, fresh Okinawa sea salt, High quality seaweed, a bag of flour and most of all, a box of miso beyond words. Now, asking why someone from Okinawa had this wonderful miso was beyond my understanding so I just shut my mouth and used it. Of course, if you can't tell by now, I made Miso Ramen. And with these High Quality ingredients, I have switched my favorite from Shio to Miso ramen.

"Itadakimasu!"

But let's cut the talking and just dive into this dish. I took the chopsticks in my hand and felt the warmth of the soup, touching my skin. I hesitantly held my chopsticks as I wondered whether I should eat some noodles first or if I should delve into the soup first.

_*Ding Dong*_

"Huh?"

My chopsticks stopped halfway. Someone must have rang the doorbell and it was unmistakably mine. Ane-san was out for the rest of the afternoon leaving only me here so I would have to go and open the door.

"Wonder who it could be… yes?"

"Hello, Aki."

"I'm sorry you got the wrong house!"

_*Bang!*_

Wait a second… why was Minami hanging outside my door! This is bad… maybe she's come to kill me while I'm all alone and defenseless. What should I do?

"Wait, Aki! Why did you shut the door on me!? You're so cruel…"

"Minami… I can't really rebuke when you're trying to kick my door down!"

I should've known that no door could match up to the pony-tailed berserker, Shimada Minami. If I don't do something, my front door will be nothing more than splinters in a few seconds.

"Alright, alright. I give. I'll open the door…"

"Thank you, Aki."

Minami beamed as I unlocked the door, opening it so that she can come in.

If only she could be as quiet and peaceful as she seemed while she smiled. She was in a simple black T-shirt and shorts that were super cute! It's like the feeling of wanting to take home a pet that bites the hand that feeds it.

"Hey, Mizuki, you can come in now."

"Okay, Minami-chan."

Eh? I watched as Himeji-san also came in from the doorway. She was also in casual clothing, a simple white dress and a blue blouse on top… Now this is an animal that is perfectly fine to take home!

"Um… this might be a bit stupid but… why are you two here?"

"Ara? Don't you know? Sakamoto-san told us to come here to tutor you."

"Yeah, Aki."

Yuuji… don't tell me that guy was serious about the tutors. I thought it was all just a trick to steal my games! That bastard… suddenly, all my free time has been sucked up by the evil force known as studying.

"You know… I don't really want to waste both of your schedules and…"

C'mon… I admit it would be nice to spend the afternoon with the two girls but evading studying is top priority.

"You aren't possible trying to evade studying are you?"

"Erm… of course not, Minami…"

Dammit, as expected from Minami, she's seen right through my intentions… I made a mistake. I can't lie to these two. They know me too well to be tricked by a half-baked lie.

Could it be… that I actually have to study?

"I see…"

I sighed and groped my head. I had no choice now… I would have to study with them.

"Alright, let's study…"

"Hooray!"

"Akihisa-kun finally wants to study…"

Let's just get this over with…

Study Session #1:

* * *

Tutors: Shimada Minami and Himeji Mizuki

Subject: Math

START!

* * *

My stomach growled at the completely wrong time, reminding me that I hadn't finished eating my ramen. The two girls, Minami and Himeji-san, looked at me and identified the noise with my stomach.

Oh how embarrassing! I was totally humiliated!

"Um… are you hungry, Akihisa-kun?"

"Ahaha, well I guess I am a little hungry…"

To think that she didn't laugh… Himeji-san is just too kind!

"Did you not have lunch today, Aki?"

"But didn't you eat my bento today, Akihisa-kun?"

Ah, that's right. This noon I had another epic battle to survive Himeji-san's death food. I managed to get away by stuffing the food down Yuuji's throat and saying that I had eaten it all.

But now I have to make an excuse to explain why I was still hungry…

"Well yes I did but…"

C'mon I need an excuse…

"Huh? So you ate Mizuki's bento, huh, Aki?"

"Wait… Minami, why are you mad?"

Wait, isn't this too sudden? Why is Minami exploding with anger? I can already feel the punches that were ready to hit me at any time. This is bad… alright no choice but to tell the truth!

"Well actually, Yuuji ate most of the food you see… That's why I didn't get much to eat…"

"But I thought you said that you ate it all?"

Dammit, here comes the Himeji-san wall to block my statement.

"Ah, well what I meant was that WE ate it all… I might have accidentally said I."

"Oh I see… that's alright. But next time you shouldn't just let Sakamoto-san take all the food… Shouko-chan would be angry as well."

"That's right Aki. You need your nutrients as well…"

Now I'm being lectured… Oh well, I guess I deserve it. Covering lies with lies… I'm pretty damn despicable.

"So, Aki, you're hungry right?"

"Hm? Yeah, I am…"

I looked back up at Minami who was slightly looking away, as if she was about to confess something to me.

"If you're hungry than… it's really hard for me to say this but… your noodles have gotten all soggy."

"Say what!?"

I turned around as quickly as I could and found the ramen noodles sucking up all of my precious miso soup.

"No! My lunch!"

"I think you've been talking to us for too long, Akihisa-kun…"

This is no joke! That was my precious lunch. What was I going to do now? Wait for dinner and starve while doing so?

"Well, Aki… if you're that hungry I guess I could make you something to eat."

"Huh? You'd really do that?"

I'd be really happy if Minami actually would cook for/with me. She herself is a wonderful cook that knows a lot of foreign recipes that I've never even heard of. It doesn't match her tomboyish appearance but cooking is one of her specialties. Perhaps she's even a better cook than me, which I do find possible. This is a good opportunity that I can't pass up…

"Ah, if we're cooking than I should…"

"Nevermind, Himeji-san, Minami, I can just cook my own food in a jiffy… I'll even make some snacks for studying so please wait until then."

Nevermind! My survival is far more important than one fantastic meal. I must stop Himeji-san from touching any cooking utensils for as long as I can…

"Aww… You never let me cook, Akihisa-kun."

"Yeah, Aki. You should let other people cook as well."

No, no, letting other people cook will result in the creation of the evil force known as Himeji-san's cooking. I'm trying to save your life, Minami, and your innocence, Himeji-san!

"Anyways, just wait as I cook up something."

Without listening to another word they would say, I ducked into the kitchen and prepared another ramen for myself, and baked a few cookie snacks for the study session. After devouring my delicious ramen, I brought the cookies and some tea out of the kitchen.

"Ah, so this was the room that you lived in, Mizuki?"

"That's right… it was such a good memory."

"Arrgh… this is too unfair…"

I hear the two girls muttering about something in the guest room. I lightly knocked on the door and faced them.

"Cmon, the snacks are ready."

"O-Okay Akihisa-kun. Where do you want to study?"

Hm? Where should we study? I would suggest my room but it's a little small for three of us so I guess…

"Let's study in the living room."

"Alright, let's start."

We sat down at the table, sitting on the little cushions. I placed the snacks on the opposite end of the table and then placed down all the books I had on Mathmatics…

"Wow, this is a lot, Aki. I never knew you liked Math this much…"

"Actually this is the remedial work that Ironman gave me…"

"Akihisa-kun wouldn't willingly buy textbooks afterall."

The two girls beside me sighed as they took the pencils and textbooks. When Himeji-san was still living at my house, I had bought a large stationary kit because I figured that the broken pencils that I used wouldn't be good enough for Himeji-san. This stationary kit had an amazing amount of writing utensils… pencils, pens, paper, erasers, whiteout, highlighters and even G-pens. Because of this, I had the necessary tools to survive this study session.

"Okay, what was your last test score on Math?"

"Well… I was only one off…"

"You only got one question wrong?"

That's right… I was only one off…

"From passing…"

"Mizuki, why do we have to tutor this piece of trash?"

How cruel? I was only speaking the truth… I just got my numbers mixed up okay? Otherwise I would have totally aced it!

"Well than let's begin… Akihisa-kun, take a look at this. I took the liberty to make a diagram on what Akihisa-kun needs to learn before he understands math…"

"Wow! That's amazing, Himeji-san."

"Hey, I helped make it too, ya know, Aki!"

I stared at the diagram that Himeji-san had made. The diagram had been split into three columns, labeled basics, prep and main. In the basics column, there were two little boxes labeled fundamentals and practical uses. In the prep column, there were two more boxes labeled Matrices and Vectors. In the Main column, there was a last pair of boxes that read linear transformations and Eigenvalues and Eigenvectors.

"So today we'll start off by learning the basics of Linear Algebra."

"Wait a second, isn't linear algebra junior high stuff?"

I remember my old junior high teacher lecturing me about my Linear Algebra grade. Back then life was so easy… I could sit back and not care about my grades. I wish I could go back in time…

"That's right, Aki, Linear Algebra is first taught in Junior High. However, since you're so far behind from the rest of the school we need to start teaching you from the basics."

"What? You're saying I'm only at Junior High level?"

How rude… I passed Junior high no sweat… that's right, my foolproof striker sigma V strategy helped me right through the exams!

"Of course not, Akihisa-kun."

"Phew, for a second there I actually thought you guys I thought I was at junior high level…"

"You're at elementary school level right?"

Dammit… these aren't tears okay? The insults just brushed some dust into my eyes…

"Aki, are you okay?"

"Yeah… I'm fine. Just start the lesson."

I shook my head and let all the hesitation fly out. I could do this… I can survive this study session! Bring it on!

* * *

"A proposition is a declarative sentence that is either true or false such as, one plus one equals two or Japan has a population of 100 people. Do you understand, Akihisa-kun…"

"Um… well…"

So a proposition is always true… or was it false… or both? What?

"Um… let's take a look at a few examples… A sentence like "Yoshii Akihisa is male" is a proposition. So is the sentence "Yoshii Akihisa is female". On the other hand, the sentence "Yoshii Akihisa is handsome" is not."

Are you saying I'm not handsome, Himeji-san? Is this your way of subtly dissing me? I'm handsome right? I have perfect facial features, a magnificent body, and um…. I'm awesome!

Of course, Himeji-san is ignorant of my thoughts as she continues…

"Simply put, a proposition is a true or false statement while an ambiguous opinion based question is not."

"That kind of makes sense…"

I see… so propositions are fact based and non-propositions are opinion based. This is easy!

* * *

"An inequivalent proposition is a set of propositions that are not necessarily two sided. Got that, Aki?"

"Er… not really."

I looked at Minami who was making rapid hand motions as she tried to stick a concept into my mind. I guess she was one of those people that have to move their hands while explaining something. It was kind of cute…

"Alright, let's try to explain this… If you ate Tonkatsu than that means that you've eating pork, right?"

"Yeah."

A picture of crispy tantalizing Tonkatsu appeared in my head. The same seemed to happen to Minami as I caught a sliver of drool escape her mouth before she shook her head and continued.

"But at the same time, if you ate pork it doesn't necessarily mean you ate Tonkatsu, right?"

"I hope not…"

I immediately shivered at the thought of ordering tonkatsu at a restaurant and being served a raw pig leg… It was honestly disgusting. I want to barf now…

"If a situation in which A goes into B while B doesn't necessarily go into A than it is called an implication, an uneven proposition."  
"I see… I think I get it…"

So it was kind of like saying, every baseball player has a baseball glove but not every person with a baseball glove is a baseball player…

"And then, tying into this, we have equivalence. If A goes into B and B goes into A than the two propositions are equal."

"So it's like a two-sided implication?"

In my head, an image of a double sided arrow pointing between A and B appeared.

"Exactly! An example is like this, Aki. A) Aki is shorter than Sakamoto. B) Sakamoto is taller than Aki."

"I'm sorry for being short…"

I cried a little inside but nodded as I understood the example.

* * *

"Then you add a line over here, Akihisa-kun."

"And then the previous equation becomes accessible, Aki. Furthermore…"

"Ah right… I get it."

It was already bordering the evening and the thought of dinner was approaching but the three of us were still fighting strong. We had gotten past the simple learning and were now challenging some equations. This was all fine and dandy with one small flaw in this plan.

"Erm, you two… If you sit over here, it gets kind of distracting."

They were too close! The two girls were right next to me, practically leaning on my arms. The smell of their perfume and the feeling on my skin was too intoxicating. I could feel the dirty flaws coming to take over my body.

"_C'mon Akihisa… Why don't you just pounce on those two… You know you want to…"_

Dammit… I won't lose to you lust. No matter what you say I'm not listening, you evil sin.

For all those who don't know him… this is lust. Unlike the devil that usually appears, he's an Id that is specifically called forth in situations of extreme lust… in other words, when I'm horny…

"_C'mon Akihisa, let's have some fun. Flip some skirts and grab some breasts…"_

Like I said for the last time… No!

I mentally punched the being right out the window. It flew in a beautiful arc and landed with no grace at all… that's right, go back to the FFF you sick pervert.

"I-I can't see if I'm not close enough!

Himeji-san had exclaimed. It seems that my conversation with Lust actually only took a few seconds…

"Er… that's true but…"

But how am I supposed to hold myself back, Himeji-san! I currently tempted with the thought of forcing myself on you… I can only hold back for some time…

"Ehhh? You're not gonna say it's okay for Mizuki but not okay for me, are you?"

Minami glared right at me… she must be having a misunderstanding… since I don't want her ill intentions let me correct her…

"Nah, without that extra thing on my arm, your side is far more comfortable and…"

"Oh, so that's how it is…"

Shit, I just dug my own grave. What was I thinking?

Minami stood up, cracking her knuckles. The evil intentions in her were so strong it could be seen as an aura of evil.

"Wait, Minami… it's not like I was saying your breasts were small or anything."

I flailed my arms rapidly, trying to explain the situation before her hands grabbed me. Oh no, is this it? Was I going to die? Maybe she would be merciful and just break my neck, a quick and painful death that is… wouldn't want to be strangled until I die.

She pulled me in with her hands, braced against my head. With this momentum… was she planning to knee me in the chin? Now that would hurt… but I don't have the strength to resist… this is the end my brethren. Good bye…

"A-Are you going to say there's nothing there like this?"

"N-Ngh!"

Wait a second… this was…This not actually flat, soft feeling that my face has been buried in… could it possibly be?

"W-wait a second, Minami-chan!"

I felt Himeji-san's hand catch my shoulder and pull me back. I was ripped from heaven… and placed into an even greater bliss… this squishy and curvy feeling that my head has been buried in… could this possibly be…

"That sort of direct attack should be against our agreement, Minami-chan!"

"What are you talking about when you're using that unfair weapon, Mizuki!"

"Nggh…"

This was way too dangerous… I was on the verge of blood loss…

"What are you talking about, Minami-chan! I saw you pass off atleast 10 accidental touches today…"

"W-what? That doesn't count, okay."

What were they saying? I don't know… I can't breathe… Help me…

And everything went white.

* * *

"And in result…"

"Aki's score went up!"

"""OOOH!"""

Minami and Himeji-san presented my latest math test in front of the rest of the crew, who clapped in admiration.

It was the next day after the study session. After I fainted, the study session was over but it seems that all that learning had some use…

"His score went from 63-87!"

"""WOOAAHHH!"""

My grade has gone up a little bit…

"Looks like the tutoring is working, Akihisa."

Beside me, Yuuji laughed. That bastard, he was the mastermind of this all…

"You should look forward to tonight. Your tutors are quite amazing…"

"What? This wasn't some one-time thing?"

No, I won't be able to survive another session like that one!

"You seriously think you can learn enough in just one session… there's gonna be a bunch of tutors coming up."

"I'm gonna kill you…"

Oh well… I guess there's no helping it.

And thus the battle to survive studying has just started…

* * *

Study Session #1:

End!

Tutors: Minami and Mizuki

Subject: Math

Results: Math: 63-87

+24 points

F to an E-

* * *

Congratulations on making it to this footnote. If you have any comments than please review. Also, if you have a pair of people you want to be tutoring Akihisa then also write that as well...


	3. Chapter 3: Nutrition

Ah, this is really just a joke chapter. I did my best but at it's current level, I don't think it's very good.

* * *

**What do you do in order to concentrate while studying?**

**Himeji Mizuki's Answer:**

Before I start studying, I usually just fine a quiet secluded spot to study so that I won't be distracted by any outside influences.

**Teacher's comments:**

That's a wonderful idea, Himeji-san. Though sometimes, I personally think that it is hard to find such a spot.

**Sakamoto Yuuji's Answer:**

Sometimes, if I find that I'm being distracted by noises, I put on by earphones and listen to some music, mostly for the sake of blocking out the unnecessary noise.

**Teacher's comments:**

Is that what kid's nowadays do to concentrate? Sensei isn't quite familiar with you kid's MP3 players and what nots so I can't really compare.

**Akihisa Yoshii's Answer:**

(Due to the pure stupidity of Akihisa's answer, it was gracefully removed)

* * *

"I can't lose here…"

I fumbled for my sword among the rough rocks of the cavern. My hands started to bleed, ever so slowly, as I continuously cut myself on the rocks. I was exhausted, my breath always not enough, my heartbeat being completely erratically, my limbs not listening to me… Could I really win this fight?

I was outmatched completely. Among this very cave, against this opponent, was I fated to finally meet my end? I've spent so much time, working towards this battle. My very soul has been engraved in this sword, yet would I lose here? Would I fall and never get back up?

Preposterous. I shall not give in!

Sure my opponent may be stronger than me. He may be faster than me. He probably has more experience than me… but so what? I'll still win!

"Feel my wrath! Ougi, Exucaribura!"

*Ding dong*

"Oh, I have to answer the door…"

Hello everyone, this is Akihisa Yoshii here. If you can tell, I was just playing the brand new game that I just bought today. Man, the controls are so good.

Now now, I know what you're going to say. You're probably telling me that I shouldn't be gaming and I should be studying but don't worry… I'm only taking a 10 minute break… is what I said before doing more gaming. Thus my gaming is completely valid, no arguments!

Not to mention, since Yuuji has taken all of my games, I've been experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It would be bad for my health if I didn't play, so I sneakily bought the new game without anyone knowing.

"Yes?"

I happily opened the door to my house, still grinning from the awesomeness of the game.

"Hey, Yoshii-kun."

"… greetings."

"Oh hello."

I stared blankly as Kudou-san and Mutsurrini appeared at the doorway. Kudou-san was, as usual, wearing a very attractive attire consisting of a blue tank top and a yellow skirt, while Mutsurrini was in a simply white T-shirt and black shorts.

"So, what brought you two here?"

"Eh? Isn't that obvious, Yoshii-kun?"

"…we came to tutor."

Oh, I see, they came to tutor. Well I guess, I'll let them in and be an honorable host. Once they've finished their business I'll kindly let them walk out and start playing my game again. It shouldn't take more than 10 minute…

"Tutor!?"

Don't tell me these Erotic champions are going to be my next tutor.

"Bingo! You're right."

Wait calm down, Akihisa. This might not be as bad as it seems… I mean my tutors this time are the famed duo of dynamic eroticism… I might not be forced to study this time. Maybe…

"So let's start studying."

"No future!"

Kudou-san had already stepped in and was sitting at the common room table, as I bent backwards and gripped my head in pain, waiting for me to join her.

* * *

I guess I have no choice now. Time to start studying…

Study Session #2

Tutors: Tsuchiya Kouta and Aiko Kudou

Subject: Health Education (Nutrition)

Start!

* * *

"Well where's your resource books?"

"Eh… well um…"

Let's see… I think my Health Education textbooks were somewhere in my closet, with a package of dust sprinkled over them.

"UUUUUUU! (BBBBBBZZZZZTTTT)"

Abruptly, behind us, a geyser of blood had erupted from the nose of my beloved friend, Mutsurrini.

"Wah, Mutsurrini-san. Are you alright?"

"Mutsurrini, are you okay?"

We quickly rushed over to him and found the source of the nosebleed. Right in his hands was one of my precious bibles (ero-books). No, don't look Kudou-san. It's embarrassing.

"It seems that… I'll be going… first…Akihisa."

"Mutsurrini, no. You can't suddenly go down. You still have so much left."

"Sorry… I can't go on. I leave my collection to you…"

"No stop it. Don't say that… you can't leave us!"

"Tell the world… that I lived to my fullest…"

"No… no. NO! Mutsurrini!"

"Are you two done yet?"

"Sorry, Kudou-san. We're trying to win an Oscar here."

I laughed as I got back up and tried to sweep the bible back under the bed but it was quickly picked up by Kudou-san.

"Ara? Is this yours, Yoshii-kun?"

"Huh? Of course not. Why would the beautiful, ero book labeled "Watermelon Heaven" possibly be mine?"

I need to convince her that it's not mine… It'd be horrible if she labeled me as the same as Mutsurrini. We're two completely different types of perverts… no, I'm not a pervert at all!

"I see, if it's not yours then I'll go and burn it."

"Wait a second, I'm sorry for lying. It's mine, Kudou-sama."

Nevermind, I better beg for her forgiveness quickly and hope to be saved.

"Ara? So it is yours, Yoshii-kun… My, my, you should've just said so."

Was she going to forgive me? Now that I think about it, Kudou-san is pretty forgiving… maybe I can escape this unharmed…

"You could've just asked if you wanted to see… *lifts skirt a little bit*"

"Forsaken Angel!"

I was sent flying with a jet of blood at her ultimate attack… to think that I could get away unharmed… I was foolish. Her ero level… was over 9000.

"Hahaha, just kidding. But now I know your tastes, Yoshii-kun."

"Please just forget everything you saw today…"

"No."

"Darnit…"

And so, I was out, lying next to my comrade in arms, Mutsurrini. It was a good life…

"Ah… now both of them are unconscious. What should I do?"

* * *

One blood transplant later…

"Alright, shall we start studying?"

Kudou-san was energetically pulling out the stationary as me and Mutsurrini sat there, still trying to revive from the blood loss.

"So what are we going to be learning today?"

If it's these two, it was probably going to be Health Ed, but what kind?

"…We'll be learning nutrition."

Nutrition huh… I never really did do well with that sub-subject, I did sleep through the class after all.

"Are you ready, Yoshii-kun?"

"Damn right, I am!"

Let's do this quickly and get it over with! And so I can get some good marks!

* * *

"Alright, let's first go over the basics."

"…the nutrition groups that the body needs…"

They opened up the books as I quickly thought about it… Hoenstly, I have no idea.

"No clue."

"You really are a baka, aren't you?"

How cruel, I just happen to not know this, okay?... is what I want to say, but I've been called a baka so many times it doesn't hurt anymore.

"Alright let's review, the four basic groups are Proteins, Carbohydrates…"

I see, proteins and carbohydrates… seems legit. Proteins are like meat and eggs while Carbohydrates come from bread, right?

"Then we have lipids…"

"Lipids huh? I see…"

Lipids? I never heard that word before but I'm guessing it's some sort of mineral or vitamin. Must be really important…

"And then Nucleic Acids."

"Hold it right there!"

Just where do nucleic acids come into play? That's definitely not nutritious for your body! Though I don't actually know what they are, they sound pretty bad.

"…stop teasing him, Kudou Aiko."

"Aw, busted."

Kudou shook her head and teased me a little with a :p face. Ah, so cute yet so dangerous! If I don't keep my eye on her, I'll definitely regret it.

"Alright so what are the real nutritious groups?"

"…they're proteins, carbohydrates, fats, minerals, vitamins, and water…"

I see… so lipids and nucleic acids really aren't nutrients.

Scrawling down these simple notes, I look over to my two tutors who were suddenly flirting, and by that I mean that Aiko was teasing Mutsurinni again, and could only sigh.

"This is going to be a long day…"

* * *

"A calorie is the amount of energy needed to raise the temperature of one gram of water by one degrees Celcius."

"Wait… I thought a Calorie was like fat or something."

I always here about girls talking about not taking too much calories and thus measuring their meals so that they don't take too many calories or something. Never really understood that.

"In a way it is."

"Huh? But you said that I was energy…"

Now this is getting confusing. Is it supposed to be energy or fat?

"Listen, Yoshii-kun. A human body only has a specific amount of calories that it can absorb a day, depending on how much energy you use. The average adult male needs about 750 calories in a meal, write that down, it's important."

"Okay…"

I quickly wrote down what she was saying into my notebook. Gosh, its brand new… do I really never use it?

"However, if the body takes more than the needed amount of calories, the rest is stored as fat."

"Oh… I get it. So basically, the girl's make sure they don't take to many calories or else they'll have extra fat."

I kind of find it redundant to worry about all this math and nutrition just so you can be a bit slimmer… but then again, I am a guy.

"By the way, Yoshii-kun…"

"Hm? Yes what is it?"

"Do you think this skirt makes me look fat?"

"(blood dripping)… I don't think you should be asking that as you raise the skirt."

So dangerous…

* * *

"Um… Kudou-san, what's the answer to this question?"

"Oh this one… um… this is pretty hard…"

I guess even Kudou-san doesn't know the answer. It is really difficult after all…

"… it's A. Vitamin D is the only vitamin that can be synthesized in the body."

"Ohhh!"

"Nice one, Mutsurrini-kun."

As expected of Mutsurrini. He's probably even more helpful than a teacher.

"…Don't underestimate me, Kudou Aiko."

"Ah, that's true. You know… mid-terms are coming up. I wonder who'll get the higher score?"

Is it just me or is the tension between these two starting to get really fierce?

"… is that a challenge?"

"You bet it is. Don't think I'll let you beat me in the mid-terms, Mutsurrini-kun."

You two should get a room. Maybe I should sneakily move to my room and let these two be by themselves…

"…I won't lose to the likes of you, Kudou Aiko."

"Oh really? Well then, let me tell you something."

Alright. I'll just sneakily go to my room…

"I'm not wearing a bra today."

""Wha!?""

Me and Mutsurrini were immediately sent flying backwards due to the pure power of her words. It was like being hit by a truck, causing every bone in your body to shake and for your nose to start bleeding. This is the kind of attack that only a true demon lord could muster. It's the kind of move that flattens cities with a single wave of the hand.

"…are you trying to kill me?"

Mutsurrini muttered as he laid down on the floor, writhing in a pool of his own blood.

I, myself, was starting to lose consciousness.

"Nah, I'm not trying to kill you, Mutsurrini-kun. I'm just trying to make you lose enough blood that you won't be able to give your all during the mid-terms.

"…evil."

And everything went black…

* * *

"Ahh… I'm hungry."

"…I am also."

"Ah, that's true. It's about time for dinner."

To think that it just felt like we had tea. I guess time really goes fast when you're studying.

"Alright then, should I order pizza or…"

"Hold it, Yoshii-kun."  
Just as I was about to go to the phone, Kudou-san quickly stopped me.

"What's wrong, Kudou-san?"

"Isn't that obvious? We're learning about nutrition today yet you're going to buy unhealthy junk food."

Ah, she has a point. It almost feels hypocritical to do so.

"…the local diner?"

"Can't. Ane-san said that I have to watch the house properly or else there would be punishment."

Moreover, I've heard a lot about bad security around the neighborhood. If I'm correct, the Tanaka family just a few rooms away had their house invaded by a burglar the other day. If they didn't have a guard dog, they might've lost all their possessions while they were out for dinner.

Not to mention that Ane-san's punishments are incredibly painful. Last time, she broke my finger for staying up late.

"Then I guess we'll just have to cook something ourselves."

Well since we'll be making dinner today, I'll have to show off my awesome cooking skills. Ane-san's friend from Okinawa had sent over some crab the other day, so maybe I should make something with it.

"What would you guys like to eat?"

"Anything will do, Yoshii-kun. I'm sure anything you make will be delicious."

"… no preference."

Wow, thanks for your very specific description. I guess if that's the case, I'll just make something. I have some scallions as well so maybe I can make those crab cakes that I saw on the "Simple Eating Program".

"Remember to make it nutritious. Think of this as your practical exam, I'll be checking your recipe later."

"Yeah, alright, Kudou-san…"

* * *

**Akihisa Yoshii's super healthy crispy delicious crab cakes!**

**Ingredients**

1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons of extra-virgin olive oil

2 scallions, thinly sliced

1/2 cup of finely chopped red bell-pepper

1 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)

1 large egg, lightly beaten

2 tablespoons of nonfat milk

1 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce

2 teaspoons of dijon mustard

1 tablespoon of fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges for serving

1/2 teaspoon of Old Bay Seasoning

1 pound of lump crab or crab claw meat, picked over

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Olive-oil cooking spray

**Directions**

Heat 2 teaspoons of olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the scallions and bell pepper and cook until they begin to soften, about 2 minutes. Cool slightly.

Mix 1/2 cup panko, the egg and milk in a small bowl. In a medium bowl, whisk the Worcestershire sauce, mustard, lemon juice, and the Old Bay seasoning; fold in the crabmeat, panko mixture, scallion bell pepper mixture, 1/4 teaspoon salt and a pinch of pepper. Shape into 8 patties and refrigerate 30 minutes.

Coat the crab cakes with the remaining 1/2 cup panko. Heat the remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil in the skillet over medium-high heat. Mist the crab cakes with cooking spray and cook, sprayed-side down, 3 to 4 minutes. Spray the tops, flip and cook 3 to 4 more minutes. Serve with lemon wedges for a perfect touch

Per serving (2 crab cakes): Calories 220; Fat 9 g (Saturated 2 g); Cholesterol 155 mg; Sodium 630 mg; Carbohydrate 8 g; Fiber 1 g; Protein 26 g

Note: There is no guarantee that this recipe will actually taste good or be nutritious. You have been warned.

* * *

"Ah, I'm so full…"

"…delicious."

After devouring my beautifully made dinner, consisting of lightly seasoned Salmon, because as I was cooking, I realized that the oil I usually use is actually quite fattening, with a side of crab cakes, miso soup and rice. A very simple, yet still appetizing dinner.

"Thank you for the meal, Yoshii-kun."

"Ah, it's no problem, Kudou-san. Consider it thanks for coming here to tutor me."

As much as I hate studying, I really must thank the tutors that take the time out of their day to help me study. It is a true blessing.

"Ahaha, it's no problem, Yoshii-kun. We're glad to help, right Mutsurrini-kun?"

However, unlike Kudou-san, Mutsurrini was currently gripping his stomach, silently looking at the ground.

"Um… Mutsurrini, are you okay?"

"… yeah, I just need… washroom."

Yeeow, this sounds bad. I hope is stomach is okay…

"It's that way."

"…excuse me."

Without another word, Mutsurrini dashed towards the restroom, clutching his stomach on his way there. Me and Kudou-san were left in the dining room watching him go.

"Hm… I hope Mutsurrini-kun will be alright."

"Yeah, he'll be… fine. Rather, we should clean up and finish the studying, I'm sure that's what he would want us to do."

"I guess."

Kudou-san nodded and started to move the dishes of the table…

Weird, she is completely unfazed when Mutsurrini is drowning in his own blood yet worries when he has a stomach-ache… What a weird relationship those two have? Actually, more importantly…

"When are you two gonna start dating?"

"EEEHH?"

Right, I'm surprised that these two aren't officially going out, despite how close they are.

"Come on, I know you two have that relationship going on."

"Wha-what? What kind of relationship would I have with Mutsurrini-kun?"

Ah, so she's still in the phase of denial. I feel so bad for Mutsurrini…

"_I feel so bad for Himeji-san and Minami too…"_

Eh? Why did you come out of nowhere, Angel-san? Rather what do you mean?

"_Still in the phase of denial huh?"_

Huh? What do you mean?

"_Anyways, cya."_

No, don't run away, tell me what you mea-dammit. Stupid subconscious of mine.

I guess I have no choice but to keep on prying Kudou-san. I can have a good talk with my subconscious when I go to sleep tonight.

Back on topic, is there some sort of way to get past that giant block of denial and pry her true feelings out of her?

I took a second to think as both me and Kudou-san stood silently in front of the dining room, holding plates in our hands. My brain was simulating word plays to trick Kudou-san while Kudou-san seemed to still be blushing in place, thinking about what I said.

*Clack* (Sound of door opening)

*Ding* (Sound of the alarm recognizing the opened door)

*Da Da Da* (Sound of footsteps)

"Aki-kun? What did I say about bringing girls over?"

Wait… calm down Akihisa. Quickly assess the situation and find out why Ane-san is mad… There should be some clue to this mystery…

Akihisa Yoshii in dining room

A heavily blushing Kudou-san standing next to him

Both are holding dirty plates signifying that they had ate dinner together

Mutsurrini is in washroom and thus cannot testify that they were not alone together

A blazingly angry Ane-san who is ready to deal vast amounts of damage.

An Akihisa Yoshii who is about to die

Crapbaskets.

* * *

"Hey, Akihisa, how was your Health-Ed test?"

The next day, Yuuji had as usual, walked up to me to ask for my test results. Considering that he's gonna be checking my results from the tutoring, I guess he'll be constantly asking for my test results.

"I got a 76, how about you?"

"92. Still got a long way to go my friend. But atleast your score is improving."

Right, he has a point. If I keep studying, than my scores should be rising right? If so, than that would be a relief; I wouldn't want to end up studying for nothing. But speaking of the tutoring…

"Yuuji, I have a favour to ask."

"Eh? What is it, Akihisa?"

"Please, with the force of the thousand suns, I ask you… please make my next tutor a guy."

"Huh? Wait why are you crying, Akihisa!?"

Please… Ane-san's punishments are too harsh…

* * *

Study Session #2:

End!

Tutors: Aiko and Mutsurrini

Subject: Health

Results: Health Ed: 59-76

+17 points

F to an F+

* * *

Another chapter, another few hours of my life. Still taking requests for tutors btw.


End file.
